It's Spring!!!


I woke up in the best of moods this morning. I attribute this fantastic mood to quite a few things: multiple hours of sleep and yesterdays amazing weather. I don't care that it's New England and there will probably be a NorEaster next month....I'm going to take full advantage of the beautiful weather.



Just because it made me chuckle and because I'm in a great mood. :-)



Is She Giving Birth or Taking A Shit?

I HATE using public restrooms. I don't really know anyone that enjoys using them but I digress...

I drink a lot of tea and water during the day at work. A lot. Two liquids that keep you running to the bathroom every ten minutes. Anyway, it seems like every time I'm in there, pissing a river, the same coworker is in a nearby stall in distress. I mean, someone please call 911 distress. Whomever it is, is grunting and straining and I'm sure sweating bullets.

It sounds as if there should be a film crew, reenacting an episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant in there. My word.

My question for this mystery co-worker is why aren't you on a regular bowel movement schedule? Why are you often in the Ladies Room sounding as if you're giving birth? That's not lady like. What the hell are you eating?!? Obviously, there isn't enough fiber in your diet. I'm going to need for her to get on more regular schedule because what goes on there is scary and down right offensive.

Ever Heard Of A Towel?

I am not one that is comfortable with other peoples nudity. Never have been. Locker rooms have always sort of made me skittish. I was always wrapped tightly in my towel and got dressed in a the most guarded of ways, as not to show anything that was underneath the towel. It's not that I'm ashamed of body (or nudity), per se, but it's not for public consumption.

That being said, my level of discomfort rises when ladies are walking around all willy nilly in the gym.




THIS IS NOT OKAY



Two days this week, this has been the case. The first one was an older woman. In that case, I walk into the locker room after my workout and was greeted by senior lady bits. Yeah....um......no. She wasn't shy at all and didn't seemed phased by all the people walking in and out. Seeing her in all her glory was definitely not something that was high on my list of things to do for that day.

The second instance, I was putting my coat and purse away in the locker, which I had open. When I was done and went to close the locker, there they were, portly middle aged lady parts. WTF? 

Does no one else believe in towels, deceny or using the privacy stalls? For those I offer a lesson in Locker Room Etiquette.