Tis The Season, To Be....An Asshole!

Earlier in the week, I thought I was going to kill someone! Folks often laugh at me when I say I start holiday shopping in Oct/Nov but there is plenty of rhyme to my reasoning. I DISLIKE PEOPLE!

I HATE CROWDS. I HATE disorganized stores with merchandise on the floor. I HATE being pushed without someone excusing themselves and I HATE HATE HATE having to fight for parking.

Monday, I went to Macy's to buy myself a Christmas gift. I'm circling the lot, looking for a parking spot. (You know it's crowded when there wasn't even a handicap spot!) I drove around two times before I noticed a woman coming out. YES!! I'm sitting there, with my blinker on, waiting for her to reverse out so I can park. She reverses and puts the rear of her car to me. As soon as she takes off, this crazy middle-aged man in a Toyota Camry speeds into the spot. I was instantly pissed and he need to hear about it:

ME: Did you not see me or my blinker?! I was waiting for this spot, HENCE the blinker!!
Him: (Blank Stare)Me: (Returns Said Stare)Him: This spot? I guess I beat ya!Me: THANKS A LOT, YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT!

I admit, this may have been overkill but I was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally mad. I beat you.....WTF is that?!

Add to that, that I go into Macy's aka The Zoo and it's crowded, disorganized and those damn fragrance ladies are going HAM with the samples. Oh wait... and did I mention they didn't have the watch I've been obsessing over in the color I wanted. *sigh*

To cheer myself up and heal my doubly wounded self, I decide to go get a mani/pedi. Who doesn't love those?! I made a 4:30 appointment cause I like one particular person. I get there with about 15 minutes to spare and once again, have to drive around looking for parking. Grrr. Once again, I spot a woman backing out and decide to wait for her and once again, a man swoops into place! I'm in utter disbelief at this point and the thought that this happened twice is just blowing my mind! My exchange with this man:

Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I WAS WAITING FOR THAT SPOT! YOU NEED TO MOVE.
Him: Oh, I didn't know.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW?! WHY WOULD I BE SITTING HERE WITH A BLINKER ON FOR NO REASON.
Him: Why are you so angry? (He's smiling!)
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU JUST TOOK THE SPOT I WAS WAITING FOR AND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME TODAY! YOU NEED TO MOVE.
Him: Oh. I'll move the car if you ask me nicely. (Insert flirtatious smile here....)
ME: Just move the damn car!

And he DID!  The moral of the story, A)I'm totally sticking to online shopping and  B)it pays to be an asshole! ;-) Holiday spirit my arse!