Tis The Season, To Be....An Asshole!

Earlier in the week, I thought I was going to kill someone! Folks often laugh at me when I say I start holiday shopping in Oct/Nov but there is plenty of rhyme to my reasoning. I DISLIKE PEOPLE!

I HATE CROWDS. I HATE disorganized stores with merchandise on the floor. I HATE being pushed without someone excusing themselves and I HATE HATE HATE having to fight for parking.

Monday, I went to Macy's to buy myself a Christmas gift. I'm circling the lot, looking for a parking spot. (You know it's crowded when there wasn't even a handicap spot!) I drove around two times before I noticed a woman coming out. YES!! I'm sitting there, with my blinker on, waiting for her to reverse out so I can park. She reverses and puts the rear of her car to me. As soon as she takes off, this crazy middle-aged man in a Toyota Camry speeds into the spot. I was instantly pissed and he need to hear about it:

ME: Did you not see me or my blinker?! I was waiting for this spot, HENCE the blinker!!
Him: (Blank Stare)Me: (Returns Said Stare)Him: This spot? I guess I beat ya!Me: THANKS A LOT, YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT!

I admit, this may have been overkill but I was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally mad. I beat you.....WTF is that?!

Add to that, that I go into Macy's aka The Zoo and it's crowded, disorganized and those damn fragrance ladies are going HAM with the samples. Oh wait... and did I mention they didn't have the watch I've been obsessing over in the color I wanted. *sigh*

To cheer myself up and heal my doubly wounded self, I decide to go get a mani/pedi. Who doesn't love those?! I made a 4:30 appointment cause I like one particular person. I get there with about 15 minutes to spare and once again, have to drive around looking for parking. Grrr. Once again, I spot a woman backing out and decide to wait for her and once again, a man swoops into place! I'm in utter disbelief at this point and the thought that this happened twice is just blowing my mind! My exchange with this man:

Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I WAS WAITING FOR THAT SPOT! YOU NEED TO MOVE.
Him: Oh, I didn't know.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW?! WHY WOULD I BE SITTING HERE WITH A BLINKER ON FOR NO REASON.
Him: Why are you so angry? (He's smiling!)
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU JUST TOOK THE SPOT I WAS WAITING FOR AND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME TODAY! YOU NEED TO MOVE.
Him: Oh. I'll move the car if you ask me nicely. (Insert flirtatious smile here....)
ME: Just move the damn car!

And he DID!  The moral of the story, A)I'm totally sticking to online shopping and  B)it pays to be an asshole! ;-) Holiday spirit my arse!

Overstepping Boundaries

Everyone knows that there are different levels of friendship. Some folks are considered acquaintances, some are mentors, Internet friends so on so forth up to BFFs. More often than not, people pretty much tend to know their roles by the frequency of time spent together, personal information shared and the overall vibe when spending time together.

This blog has to do with an acquaintance. For those of you who don't know, 'cause obviously she doesn't, an acquaintance is defined as: 

An acquaintance is often called someone you "know in passing" and means that you may see and interact with the individual on an occasional or even regular basis, but they are not your actual friend. Unless the person acknowledges you as a friend (and you spend time together outside of the function or event that brought you together), you are an acquaintance. The distinction to friendship comes when a personal relationship has developed

Now, a sure fire way to push yourself out of that category is to overstep established boundaries. Do not get loud and rowdy and talk over everyone because you want to be heard RIGHT NOW. Do not fixate on one person and make them uncomfortable in their own space. Do not act like a damned fool and bring unwanted attention to the rest of us when in public. DEFINITELY do not make it clear to everyone that you are interested in the relationship being more than casual and tell straight females, "I could have been had you if I wanted you." Ummmm......WHAT THE FUCK?!?

This situation has confirmed for me that this particular person needs to no longer be an acquaintance. As if her outlandish behavior wasn't enough, she really jumped waaaaay across all sorts of lines and thus has landed herself out of bounds. Drunk or not...she obviously meant what she said because she said it with conviction. Meanwhile, three of us are sitting there with mouths wide open....speechless.

Real Men Don't Share Drinks!

This has been such a blah weekend with blah weather that has put me in a blah mood. While I do love this time of the year, it's also the time when people start to go into hibernation. I was at home, bored as could be when I was rescued by a phone call.

Fast forward to the bar.

It was quite crowded in this place. Much more crowded than I expected it to be. So, I'm sitting there  enjoying conversation and company, perusing the bar when I glance to my right and see two men sharing a Scorpion Bowl. [Umm.........O-K] It struck me as a little odd but I went on about my business, drinking my strong Asian concoction. A considerable amount of time passes and I happen to look in that direction again and there is a nice fresh Scorpion Bowl sitting between these two fellas. (At this point my companion leans over and says, "That should be your next blog post."....so here you go)

When did men start sharing drinks? Females will share drinks all day or take a sip from their girl (which makes a germaphobe like me quite squeamish) and think nothing of it. In all my years, I've NEVER seen one man take a sip from another mans glass. Nor have I ever seen another man swig another mans beer. I damn sure have NEVER seen two men share a drink, never mind a "girly" drink. They sell Scorpion Bowls for one.

Is men sharing drinks a new thing? If so, when did that start?



We're Almost There

I'm right there with you on that one Abbey...but you forgot, Scott Brown, Elizabeth Warren, Ovid Lamontagne and Maggie Hassan! Political campaigning seems to be on overdrive this year. No more commercials...no more phone calls....come on Nov 6!!!

Post Vacation Blues

Vacation is the worst thing to happen to a working  individual. The absolute worst. You get so amped to get away from the mundane tasks at work, your annoying co-workers and your regular everyday routine. It's a chance to relax, sip delicious cocktails turn your brain off and not have a care in the world.

Then it ends and depression sets in.

I had 5 glorious days without work. F-I-V-E. I was so happy. So bright. So smiley. And then it ended and I swear I've been the exact opposite. So stressed and sad and downright cranky. I definitely get why people need a vacation to recover from vacation. I'm so tired and longing for sunshine and a carefree attitude. There needs to be some transition to get your brain back into work mode and brace yourself for life as usual. 

Otherwise, you end up feeling like this....

I've Heard Of Low Rise Jeans...But Really



WHY IS THIS COOL?



I AM SO SICK OF SEEING BOYS WITH THEIR PANTS HANGING OFF THEIR ASSES!!!

I was in the bank yesterday and there was a younger man (read boy) in line in front of me. He stepped forward to the teller and low and behold he looked liked a damn clown with his jeans hanging just below his buttocks.....A-N-D-.... had the damn nerve to have on a belt!! He was also walking in a manner that was definitely NOT a normal gait. No one walks like that but I assume he had to keep his jeans up somehow.

What I wanted to do was reach out and pull his damn jeans up to his waist! What I did was shake my head with sadness that this boy doesn't know how to dress like a proper young man and thinks nothing of looking like a fool and/or a prisoner.

What people may not know is that the trend they follow so faithfully, originated in prison. Men wore their uniform pants this way for one of two reasons: 

1. They weren't allowed to have belts because they could be used as a means to harm themselves or others.
2. They were trying to send a subtle message (so the guards wouldn't know) that they were available for sex, either for pleasure or as a means of protection. 

Just because your favorite hip hop artist may do it, doesn't mean you should too. He still looks like a fool, just a rich one! You, on the other hand, not such much. Man up! Wear your pants properly, buy a suit. Get your grown man....cause that is sexy!

This Week is FINALLY O-V-E-R!

This has been the week from hell. I have no car. The mechanic I took it to broke way more than he fixed. Took it to the dealership and now comes the raping of the wallet. UGH. I'm just so happy this week is over and I'm that much closer to getting my wheels back. Can you tell I'm happy it's Friday?!?