Doing Entirely Too Much...
This past weekend, I met the most interesting cast of characters! There is a guy, we'll call Mark, Becky and Keisha.
So Mark is having people over to his new place. YAY for the party. Becky is in his room, laying on his bed, straight chilling! Now, in walks his mom and Keisha. Mind you, earlier in the evening, Becky was introduced as his girlfriend. Through conversation with Keisha, we learn that the two are engaged but on a break. (Ruh Roh: a la Scoobie Doo.) She further goes on to tell us perfect strangers that she knows that Becky is some chic that he's just smashing but when all is said and done with Becky (or whomever else) he will always call her. Get the fuk outta here!
In further talking to Keisha, I learned that she was about three years older than Mark, had a child of her own and had been dealing with him and his antics for five years.
What I failed to comprehend was what he had going for him that made these women tolerate one another, knowing full and well that both of them are dealing with him. It blew my mind. I mean he's a cute kid, he's got two jobs and a place. There are some other guys out there that have the same, if not more, that won't necessarily make you look like a complete fool. Meanwhile, he's looking like "The Man" and cause he's got the two of them falling over themselves to avoid one another all while seething with anger. Ummm, HELLO, just walk away. (Trust and believe, I know that the aforementioned statement is easier said than done at times.)
**I'm speaking generally here** This encounter led me to believe that women don't really know their worth. If you let someone get away with essentially doing you dirty, then he will! Are we so afraid to be alone that we've decided to settle for whatever dudes throw out there? I just don't get it! Women: Realize that you deserve better than what you're settling for. If you are calling him, my man, than you shouldn't be open to sharing him. Fellas: Think about the dirt you do to these women. If you couldn't handle her doing it to you, you probably shouldn't do it.
Point being: If you're in a relationship, be in THAT relationship. If you feel that you want more than one person can offer...be single!
posted by Kels @ 9:08 AM
4 Comments:
lol @ "In further talking to Keisha." You reported the events like a dateline investigative special.
Who's to say Mark's roster of undervalued treasures trolls are actually undervalued? Men and women do not have any intrinsic value in a market for the labor or commitment of love or like. There is no right to the reciprocation of an emotion or investment.
We all have at least a slightly inflated sense of value. Adjust for inflation and Mark's value of Beck and Keisha is probably exactly where it needs to be, the lowest commitment level(value) at which they are willing to exchange their time, love and attention.
You questioned what Mark must offer to warrant such commitment from Becky and Keisha but it's equally as important to ask what they offer other than their willingness to endure Mark's lack of commitment.
The real tragedy here is Keisha has continued to convince herself that she's the main chick when she gets the same treatment Becky does. Self proclaimed titles are irrelevant when you get the same pay. You can't put "Mark's main chick from 2005-2010" on your resume.
Last note: Females shouldn't take out their frustration for a man on another woman. Men will always win because there will always be women willing to fight other women for that man.
I don't do it but I understand it...pimp on, Mark.
the discertation above notwithstanding, most women and people in general tend to have either an over-inflated ego, or an under-inflated one. very few have a firm grasp on who they are and what they have to offer to others. sadly, it seems as if all parties involved are acting in the way we'd expect them to.
@ Marlon: It was like I was investigating. At some point in our conversation, Keisha said that her issue wasn't with Becky. Yet she tolerated Mark's disrespect and Becky's presence. BTW...LMAO @ Keisha's resume.
Besides, I don't believe the question is what they offer Mark but why they settle for sharing him. Something is wrong there.
@E-Hubs: Don't you think at some point, people eventually realize who they are (or want to be) and what they have to offer others? In all honesty, maybe they have self esteem issues. Keisha being older (28) and having been through more (and raising a daughter), I just don't understand why she stays. She's not setting a good example for the kid. Broken hearts heal. Be by yourself or find someone else.
I don't think most, if anyone, are/is born with an intrinsic sense of self worth ... it seems more nurture than nature ...so while I don't excuse Keisha's behavior, it's clear someone didn't instill in her a sense of self worth so it seems (bc all we can do is speculate) she doesn't truly believe she deserves (is worth) more than what Mark is giving her ... and Mark has no reason to stop what he's doing bc she, and Becky, allow it ... Lastly, Marlon is right, a ring does not the head chick make if he's treating you no better than the "chic he's just smashing"...
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